Groupon, we need to talk
You have a problem, and you need to admit it. You’re addicted to…
To…
Hideously generic stock photos.
Wanna guess what this one is for? Find it pretty incomprehensible, as a white woman in a bikini making a Taylor Swift hand-heart over her lower abdomen is pretty, um, unclear? I’m gonna go with colon cleanse. Judges?
Whoops! It’s for “i-lipo.” How is this different from regular lipo, you might ask? I don’t care.
On to the next!
If there’s anything I DON’T want to do, it’s pay money so I can fall asleep while someone touches my face. What’s this Groupon actually for?
Oh. Face-touching. Okay.
And finally:
A class for teaching women to love their legs? Or maybe a drawing class where the models swan around in their matching underwear sets? Or maybe in a hot second, she’s going to start laughing while eating salad alone!
Hmm. I guess she’s about to get her spider veins blasted with cold air by a “doctor” at a “medical spa” (SO 19th century, amirite!!!).
Maybe I’m blaming the wrong people. Maybe all these companies (and the medical spas/massage joints/hippie-dippie body-care places) are to blame for filling their own websites with stock images of generic, smiley, incredibly white women doing things only vaguely illustrative of the actual thing they’re supposed to be advertising. But given how many other stock photos are on Groupon’s website (restaurants: is it really so hard to take your own picture of your own food that’s served at your actual restaurant?) I’m blaming them.
Get it together, kids. Stock photos are the worst. And consumers, if you’re seriously buying Groupons for liposuction, we can’t be friends. Don’t trust the stock-photo ladies! They know not of what they pose!
